Five accessories I could buy with my huge Hubpages earnings... and where I am going to put them.

I have been on Hubpages for almost two months and have earned a huge sum of money. My earnings are so large that it would take a high school dropout the whole hour and a half of mopping the floors or flipping burgers to earn what I have earned. Congratulations to me!

To celebrate my flawless logic of writing and earning on Hubpages, I am considering spending my huge earnings on beautiful accessories to pamper myself. I have to assume that I don't have to eat or pay rent while waiting for my huge earnings from Hubpages to accumulate a bit more. In just about 5 to 7 months I could purchase all of the things on my list! One could dream big!

Speaking of dreaming big, I think I will start with very large hair. I've always wanted to be a blond and I wanted to be a clown as a teenager, so a large white clown wig is a perfect fit for me. Maybe, I could double as a dandelion in a weird play, if producers are willing to feed me.

The longer I wait for my Hubpages earnings to accumulate, the more need I will have for my huge ears. I would want to hear every word, every whisper of a positive comment. I would want to hear the speed of a reader's heartbeat, so I could decide how much she is into my current stories. With my flawless logic, I would assume that more readers and lots of positive comments would mean more money.

The landlord wants rent paid, imagine that! My newly-found flawless logic tells me I should not be spending my large Hubpages earnings on such frivolous things as rent. Instead, I will get a large umbrella, which will serve me as a roof over my head.

By Halloween, I should be able to combine all of my earnings to purchase these great (and very cheap) accessories. If and when I do, I might look something like these. Am I not a beauty?

If my earnings accumulate earlier or later than Halloween, I could have a slight problem.

If I purchase all of these things before Halloween, someone might have to bail me out of the nut house. Not every day people get to see a clown wearing bad glasses, smiling with rotten teeth, protecting herself from imaginary sun with a rainbow umbrella, while trying to listen to every word everyone around her is saying.

Wait, as I stood in a check-out line of Wal-Mart store, voices in my head just told me I was wrong. There are places where you could find a clown with bad teeth and ugly hat listening to your every word with her huge ears. So, if I am able to buy all of the accessories above, then disappear at any time before, during, or after Halloween - look for me at Wal-Mart first; then check out the loony bins and nut houses. I gotta turn up somewhere... and I will be hard to miss.